Written by: Saman Khalid
Posted on: January 08, 2024 | 
| 中文
Laraib Khalid on her weeding
A typical Pakistani Instagram feed is a hotch-potch of a myriad of things that the user is interested in, but it is almost always dominated by wedding themed content. From major celebrities to micro-influencers, everyone seems to have espoused the preposterous trend of flaunting every single detail of their outlandishly lavish weddings. TikTokers and YouTubers are the front-line ambassadors of this practice, with actors and models only a few nicks behind. While it may appear fairly innocuous on the surface, it is utterly important to scrutinize the large-scale impact and the long-term effects of a culture that millions of people are being notoriously exposed to daily.
Actress Aymen Saleem on her nikkah
Modern-day online weddings can easily be classified as full-on documentaries, albeit devoid of any worthwhile knowledge. The wedding itself is never a singular event, instead, it is preceded by an exhaustive virtual archive of the couple’s entire relationship. Particulars about how the relationship began, the nature of its dynamics, live recordings of significant moments, extravagant proposals, pre-wedding preparations and extended family introductions are flippantly shared on social media for their followers to relish. Only after dozens of build-up videos does the actual event start, or rather, a series of events. A minimal baraat (the arrival of the groom’s family and friends) followed by the standard reception is a thing of the past. Contemporary weddings come with a highly profligate package including a baat pakki (when the engagement is sealed) ritual, dholki (song and dance as a warm up to the wedding), bridal shower, bachelorette party, qawwali (spiritual traditional music) night, mayoun (when the bride goes into seclusion), mehndi (the ceremony of putting henna on the bride’s hands and feet) and an exclusive nikkah (the actual religious ceremony of tying the knot), in addition to other functions. Each one of these occasions is covered in painstaking detail by professional photographers and then uploaded to platforms like Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. These videos consist of blatant displays of deluxe outfits, elite venues, ridiculously expensive decorations, luxury cars and other crude displays of wealth and extravagance. Many notable public figures like Shahveer Jafry, Ducky Bhai, Sehar Hayat and Iqra Kanwal from Sistrology, have shown such exhibitionism.
Ducky Bhai and Aroob Jatoi
It goes without saying that excessive oversharing of one’s opulent lifestyle equates to showing off. The bigger problem takes root when such videos compound, leading to a culture characterized by a stream of uniform content based around brandishing materialistic things. It creates a race where every influencer tries to be one-up by scaling up the level of flamboyancy in their videos. This toxic cycle germinates seeds of insecurity and inadequacy among the ordinary population that consumes such matter. Social media paints a utopian version of events by only parading the highlights of someone’s life. What is depicted as ‘normal’ in these videos is nothing but a remote fantasy for the viewers. As a result, being bombarded with pretentious content 24/7 strikes at their deepest vulnerabilities and accentuates their feelings of inadequacy.
Actress Hira Khan's mehndi
When famous celebrities give respectability to these wedding extravaganzas, it only increases their acceptability in the society. The wedding culture on social media of Pakistan has set a fake standard that ordinary people try to match. The squandering of resources is no longer considered vain, but instead is labelled as ‘fun’. It goes against our religious and moral values in a society that has extreme disparity of incomes. It leads to a promotion of consumerism and exhibitionism at the cost of helping the less privileged of our society.
Kanwal Aftab's wedding
Marriage is a sacred vow that binds two people for life. While celebrating your big day with loved ones is everyone’s dream, it becomes unhealthy when overdone. The wedding day is full of tender moments and sentimental goodbyes that are best kept private. However, social media influencers don’t hold back from sharing them with millions of strangers who wouldn’t hesitate to misuse the information. Broadcasting every second of your wedding takes away from the gravity of the day and exposes personal details that could greatly compromise one’s privacy and safety.
Posing for a picture-perfect wedding at all times can put unnecessary strain on the couple. As a consequence, both the bride and the groom become hyper-focused on keeping up appearances instead of cherishing their special moments together. The instant validation of likes and comments may bring temporary gratification, but it can’t replace genuine feelings. Constant surveillance and the lack of freedom make for a rocky start to the new marriage.
Sistrology at Iqra's destination wedding
The only solution in sight is to fight back against it through our actions. Celebrities like Sajal Ali, Mohib Mirza and a few others have played their part in doing so by keeping their wedding details to themselves and only releasing limited information to the public. There is no harm in sharing your happy moments with the world. However, moderation is the key. Oversharing always has negative consequences for all those involved. Influencers need to respect their platforms and maintain a sense of grace and dignity. At the same time, viewers should also cut back on engaging with such content rather than spreading meaningless vitriol. Only through collective efforts can this practice be abolished once and for all.
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