Written by: Saman Khalid
Posted on: December 06, 2023 | 
| 中文
Khalil Ur Rehman Qamar
“Iss Do Takay ki larki ke liye, ap mujhe 50 million de rahe thay?” (Were you really giving me 50 million for this worthless woman?). This incendiary dialogue set the internet on fire and made its writer, Mr. Khalil Ur Rehman Qamar catapult to the zenith of fame. The dialogue belongs to the mega-hit serial Meray Pass Tum Ho, that aired on Pakistani television in 2019, and broke all records of popularity. Controversies were sparked and online debacles were triggered. At the center of this hotch-potch was the mind behind the controversial script, Khalil ur Rehman Qamar. One camp of critics accused the author of being a misogynist, while others defended him vehemently. Whether or not the extreme criticism of Qamar’s work is justified can only be decided after taking a look at his philosophy of life and its expression in his writings.
Ayeza Khan and Adnan Siddiqui in Meray Pass Tum Ho
It won’t be inaccurate to say that the abstruse relationship between love and betrayal forms the cornerstone of Mr. Qamar’s work. Almost all his scripts revolve around exploring the eternal battle of pure love and the soul-baring ramifications of infidelity on it. His thoughts regarding the conception of human emotions are quite resolute, and he doesn’t shy away from communicating his ideas through his dramas. In Qamar’s view, exclusivity and permanence are the two pillars that are indispensable to the existence of true love. Naturally, he deems betrayal the biggest sin of all. Most shows penned by him feature an unfaithful character who betrays a sincere lover, and goes on to suffer the consequences. He even goes as far as to use Shirk (idolatry) as an analogy for perfidy, as evidenced by one of his dialogues: Shirk to Khuda Bhi Maaf Nahi Karta (Not even God forgives infidelity). Therefore, it is clear as day that there is no possibility of redemption for those who betray their love, in Qamar’s book. As a renowned writer, he makes it a point to inscribe his ideology on his scripts. He is known for adding a whimsical quality to his dramas through hard-hitting dialogues laced with wisdom and emotion.
Khalil Ur Rehman (R) in Landa Bazaar
It is no secret that Mr. Khalil often comes under fire for his highly opinionated thoughts about women. Most of his famous hits have played on the “cheating wife” trope. A certain sect of netizens finds it problematic that his writing seems to solely focus on women’s missteps. People have also raised concerns about the implications of the intense demonization of women’s infidelity in comparison to that of a man. In this vein, dialogues like: “A woman isn’t unfaithful by nature, and the woman who is unfaithful isn’t a woman at all”, serves as ammunition to flare matters up even more. Feminists, in particular, consider this line of thinking problematic and discriminatory towards females. However, before jumping to conclusions, it is imperative to distinguish between the person and the writer. A lot of critics confuse the writer’s real-life monologues with his actual writing, therefore placing unwarranted blame on his scripts.
Mahira Khan and Adnan Malik in Khalil Ur Rehman Qamar's drama Sadqay Tumharay
A meticulous inspection of the situation reveals that most of the virtual vitriol against him stems from the misconstrual of the storyline and the distortion of dialogues by taking them out of context. Referring back to the opening line of this article, Do Takay Ki Larki (worthless woman), was actually used for a character who cheated on her doting husband and left her son behind for a wealthy business tycoon. Taking the entire narrative of the show into consideration, it becomes obvious that the dialogue wasn’t meant to exhibit any prejudice against women in general, but was targeted towards an antagonistic character who more or less deserved it. A lot of other such dialogues have been needlessly villainized by keyboard warriors without taking into account the intention and intricacies behind them.
Ayeza Khan and Humayun Saeed in Meray Pass Tum Ho
It is also pertinent to note that he has also written treacherous male characters, and has penalized them accordingly in his shows. A perfect instance of this is his Geo television drama Mohobbat Tumse Nafrat Ha, where the male lead is ostracized from the family and detested by all the characters because he didn’t stay faithful to the female lead. That being said, it is also true that sometimes, it comes across as if Mr. Qamar is downplaying male infidelity. However, it is in fact an honest depiction of society’s response to it. His stories mirror the reality of our culture and norms, which are obviously flawed and hypocritical. The last episode of Mere Pass Tum Ho stands as a testament to this argument, where the disloyal man’s wife decides to let him back into her life. The context makes it transparent that it wasn’t an attempt to justify the man’s betrayal, but rather a realistic reflection of most women’s intrinsic nature. Be it be traditional stereotypes or a woman’s internal nurturing instinct; females have a much higher tolerance than men when it comes to infidelity. Qamar’s writing simply displays this reality as it is, instead of sugarcoating it to fit a gender equality agenda.
Imran Abbas and Ayeza Khan in Mohabbat Tum Se Nafrat Hai
It might sound contradictory, but it is true. While Khalil Ur Rehman’s shows make sense, his real-life statements diverge from the ideas propagated in his television dramas. Just recently, he attended a talk show hosted by Hassan Chaudry. On the show, he presented a rather unconventional theory, presumably to defend his movie Teri Meri Kahaniyan. The film shows a female character choosing to ignore and forgive her husband’s affairs, because she believes all men to be unfaithful anyway. While art is a free creative medium that can be used to propose ideas that don’t necessarily hold true for the writer in real life, that isn’t the case with Mr. Qamar. While answering the host’s questions, he blatantly verbalized the exact same theory, and even tried to frame it as fact. According to his ideology, men are insincere ‘”by default”; therefore, it is best for the women to stay with them instead of opting for another unfaithful man. These remarks were clearly in bad taste, and seemed to go against his strong disapproval of infidelity as shown by the dramas written by him. To put it bluntly, the whole affair seemed like a warped method of justifying cheating by men.
Wahaj Ali and Mehwish Hayat in Teri Meri Kahaniyaan
Khalil Ur Rehman Qamar’s artistic talent is undeniable, and the entire industry holds him in high regard for his spectacular services for Pakistani television. However, the author can certainly benefit from an expansion of his own horizons in order to accommodate varying perspectives. Moderation is the key to success, and it is incredibly important for a writer to approach every topic with sensitivity and empathy. At the same time, internet critics should also learn to convey their reservations with grace and respect. On the whole, an open-minded outlook will lend everyone a helping hand.
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